Simplicity.

I just need a rocking chair instead..

I have a pretty simple life.  I do have depression, social anxiety, ADD, and mild OCD though so I tend to make things complicated for myself; that and the fact that I am a Taurus-Saggitarius (ugh).  I like simplicity though, I have a welcome sign on my door that says "simple pleasures" that I picked up from an antique shop one day while waiting for the next bus.  I love antique shops.  So many simple things in there that are so filled with such precious beauty, like an old rocking chair.  Its old and battered, but I like to use my imagination with it.  Did it rock a child to sleep in its new home?  Did an old couple have matching ones that they held hands in as they watched the sunset?  An antique shop is like, recycled memories that you get a chance to continue.  Simplicity. I've been thinking, how can I simplify my life?  I've been kind of in a rut where I won't be able to actually feel that pride of reaching a milestone because my milestones are at least a few months out of reach.  In the meantime, I need something to give my soul some nutrition.  I'm thinking I want to start a garden in my apartment.  I have been yearning for a yard with flowers and grass and a small permaculture farm.  I live in an apartment though, but I did find out there are some vegetables and herbs that can be grown indoors and luckily enough I have a south facing window!  TLC has a list of 66 things that can be grown indoors.  I need to go to an antique shop, pick out a rocking chair, get some green in my house and rock to the stories playing in my head from a good book breathing in freshness.  Yeah, I think that'll do the trick.


"Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things." ~Elise Boulding

"We all die, the goal is not to live forever; the goal is to create something that will." -Chuck Palahniuk

Sometimes I panic thinking about the death of my parents or siblings.  I can't live without them, this world will SUCK if they aren't in it.  They really are a phenomenal contribution to the human species, all four of them.  For some reason I don't worry about my own death, I find comfort in it really.  Maybe it's because I work hard each and every day I try to grow as a person whether it be emotionally mentally spiritually or physically I try to do something productive each day.  Aside from that I consider myself to be a good person, nice to others, and honest.  So if I was to die I'd die comfortably knowing I did my best on this planet and now its time to rest.  I don't believe in heaven, or an after life of any sort.  I am happy about that though, until I think about my loved ones and that is when I understand why religion has made "heaven" to soothe the souls of mourners.  All we can really do here though, is create something that will stay behind when we cease.  In my parents case, they left their awesome genes behind, they make some amazing babies!  They raised us right, and each of us are really motivated to make a difference in this world.  My parents have succeeded and they too are still striving each day to reach new heights.  In my case..I want to travel, builds schools and libraries, publish books on other cultures, spread knowledge and maybe inspire peace.   On top of that, I want to publish my family's story. 

I just want a witness..

"There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you." – Maya Angelou.

I love witnessing the lives of others.  I feel that I ask a million questions and I sincerely care for details on the response, what it felt like, what they thought, what the surrounding environment looked like...  I do that.  I try to be the witness of the lives of those close to me, mostly my mother's life and my best friend Kyndra.  I wish I had a life partner though, a true love romance where I was passionate and together we were a team making logical decisions based on what would be the best for our future, if we were to have offspring's future, and of course what contribution we could make to society together.  I want a love that motivates me to take care of myself as much as I want to take care of my partner.  I do feel that agony that Maya refers to, because I dont think anyone listens, observes, and absorbs your story quite like a lover does.  I have an untold story, is anybody listening? 

"Always concentrate on how far you have come, rather than how far you have left to go. The difference in how easy it seems will amaze you." - Heidi Johnson.

Maybe I'm just a little too much for anyone to handle. <3

Rejouvination.

I recently discovered through GreenPeace a remarkable artist by the name of Jason deCaires Taylor. I'm literally in awe of this man's work. He has created maginificant statues representing humanity; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not only has he managed to be creative, innovative, and moving with his artwork... its under water!   His intention is to draw people away from fragile natural coral reefs and instead be drawn to his artwork which is meant to act as artificial reefs in hopes to attract corals to support more marine life and provide space for natural rejouvination. 

©Jason deCaires Taylor

©Jason deCaires Taylor

©Jason deCaires Taylor

©Jason deCaires Taylor

©Jason deCaires Taylor

I love this world.  I love our planet, I love the intelligence of the human species and the beautiful things we are capable of.  I love the cultures we create, the words we string together, the images we invent.  I love the human mind.  It is painful to see the horrendous things that small minded people can create, though.  &&Unfortunately the greedy, the stingy, and the selfish are the ones with the talent for manipulating society into following in their path of destructin.  When I see a positive movement as phenomenal as this one I get more hope for the human race.  I get excited about doing something as monumental one day.  Lets stop doubting ourselves and just fix this planet, yeah?