Freedom.

I realize that more frequent than not people have picture album's titled, "the new me." If not that, something along those lines.  I don't have a new beginning, a new me, or a start over button like so many others. I have a history, memories I cherrish, people I will forever carry with me whether they remember my face in their dreams or not. I have a reputation I've been building, and one day I will have the success I have cried for, bled for, and struggled for. Blistered feet can't slow me down. ♥

I have literally had small puddles of blood in the bottoms of my shoes from blisters.  I couldn't slow down though, I had to keep pace for one reason or another.  Usually I'd have to run to catch the bus with my ears that ached so much from the frozen wind I'd prefer not to have them at all.  The running would put sharp fierce stabbing pains in my chest that almost brought tears to my eyes at times, but I couldnt think about the pain I had to think about catching that stupid bus so I would be on time for a meeting with DWS, or for a class, or to make it in to work; I could never sacrifice being late for work for two reasons.  Reason number one, I have an immense work ethic.  Reason number two, 30 minutes of work can determine whether or not I eat come payday.  If it wasn't the icy wind I was enduring it was the scalding sun beating down on me, but I worked hard and now I have finally reached a foundation.

It is astounding to me that I now have my own apartment and my own car.  My mind is boggled that I have a great job, with great health insurance, and I finally have stability.  Don't get me wrong, having my own things makes me pretty freaking pathetically broke, but my bills are paid &&I have enough to get groceries to last my paycheck.  I don't have a dime to spare for Wendy's or a Redbox but I am taken care of.  I am moving on up, and I couldn't be more proud!  Proud that I can hold my own without renting a room from someone, proud that my dog has his own territory for once, proud that I will live somewhere for more than 4 months (which hasn't happened in 4 years), I am proud that my hardwork has at least brought me to this milestone.  I'm still me, my experiences have constructed me. &&I would never, EVER, forget my past to reconstruct a false persona.  I'm one step closer, hopefully I can start school in fall.  "A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that other's have thrown at him." -David Brinkley

What I Stand For

So I officially decided that I either need to start living off of the Earth and quit my job.  That way I can backpack all over the world, live free and have unlimited time to volunteer.  I need to actually BE the change I want to see in the world.  It is that, or stop breaking my heart by reading about a bunch of non-profits and only be able to mildly volunteer, which I wont do because I just can't help but be passionate and care for the planet we share.  I think I am going to finish out the lease on my apartment, sell my car.  &&Go to Argentina to work on a permaculture farm with my siblings for a while then backpack while spreading awareness.  That idea sounds .l.o.v.e.l.y. to me, lets see where life takes me and hopefully I can accomplish it.  I miss my family. 

I have been volunteering with TreeUtah but work gets in the way, most of the plantings are early mornings during the week and I unfortunately have to eat and pay for my shelter, so work is a priority. Uck. I did just find out about Carpets for Communities and that flare of emotion burst inside of me, yet again.  I emailed them and now I am waiting for a response to see if I will be able to help their wonderful project to the best of my ability.  I hate the ball and chain of living in society restricting me from participating in what I believe in, its time to work towards freeing myself.  I need to LIVE.

 http://carpetsforcommunities.org/ is a nonprofit organization teaching families "how to fish" instead of "giving them a fish."  Their goal is that "By 2012, we will return 2500 children at risk of exploitation to school by empowering 500 families in Cambodia and the world.” By empowering mothers to send their children to school through the production and sale of one-of-a-kind, hand-hooked carpets, we aim to improve the livelihoods of the poor in Poipet Commune and to help them break through the poverty cycle. <3 When I find out more about how to support them I will make sure to update it here.