Yesterday I went I got to visit an old friend. He hit rock bottom in his addiction, woke up in rehab, and has now been clean for a year. It was so good to see him, to give him a hug, but so sad to see that the trials he has faced has left him unable to make eye contact. I'm not sure if he is aware of the fact that he doesn't make ey contact. Eyecontact is something so valuable to me though, that it deeply hurt my heart to see him miss out on such a beautiful thing; and to be depriving those who love him of it too. After visiting with him I went I went to Ogden to have a district manager meeting for Northern Utah Covers the Night. We pounded out some great ideas on what the next steps are going to be to help spread awareness, it was a productive meeting and I am grateful for the experience.
Once the meeting adjourned I went visit Pat, one of my six friends who are tattooed on my foot in the shape of a dragonfly. He is the one who just moved back from Texas, prior to being in Italy. After so many years gone he is slightly disappointed that people aren't quite how he left them. I admired him for saying, "You can't be mad at someone for being themselves." He says he will have their backs no matter what, and always be there for them. I suck at that, I feel lonely and sad when someone moves on without me, and I can't help but get a bit resentful; like if I'm not good enough. His mindset is one I am in the process of adopting. Its not about me, life just moves on and time changes things.
Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them. I need to stop expecting, and just accept, forgive, and love. I should just give, and stop worrying about what I recieve and just let "the acceptance love back in our hearts." Marianne Williamson, such a smart woman she is. Besides, I'm an .i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.a.n.t. woman, I can hold my own! ;)
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