.question.question.

Ever played kings cup? Cards face down messy in a circle. Draw a card, each card represents a part of the game.
2- is for you. Whoever drew the two picks someone to drink.
3- is for me. Whoever drew the 3 takes a drink.
4- is for whores. All ladies drink.
5- make a rule. Whoever drew the 5 makes a rule that lasts until someone else draws a 5 to cancel it, or just make another rule.
5 can also be played as whoever draws a 5 hands out five drinks. "Marcus take 5 drinks!" or "Jamie, Fredrick, John, Cindy, and Sara each take a drink."
6- is for dicks. All gentlemen drink.
7- never have I ever. The goal is to make everyone ELSE drink, or at least one other. Think of something you have never done but the others may have done. "Never have I ever fell out of a tree." The goofy girl with glasses takes a drink. Its a good laugh ;)
8- dont be late. If you see an 8 race to raise your hand. The last one to raise their hand takes a drink.
9- rhyme. The person who draws the 9 picks a word, the person to their left rhymes with it. "Pickle" "Sickle" "Fickle" "uh..." DRINK.
10- categories. Whoever draws the 10 picks a category. "Marlboro cigarettes. Marlboro red" "Marlboro smooth" "Marboro 72's" "uh..." DRINK.
J- waterfall. Whoever draws the jack starts drinking, the person to their left starts drinking right after, the person to their left starts drinking after. You cannot stop drinking until the person who started drinking right before you stops drinking.
Q-QUESTION QUESTION. Whoever picks up a Queen asks a question directed at anyone. The person must respond with a question related to the topic of the previous question. If a question is answered or not responded with a question, they must drink.
K- drink. If you draw a King the card is placed in the middle of the circle and you chug chug chug. Whoever draws the last king must finish off their beer, and chug a whole one. The 4th king ends the game.


Lets revert back to the Queen. Question Question.


Dismiss the past it has no significance, all it shows is what I've learned. I have no restraints, no ball and chain, nothing holding me back. My past is behind me. My past has gekoed create me, but this creation is not encaged.


Question question. How am I to reach my ultimate goal? Is anyone going to step up and help me? I am young and determined, smart and capable of incredible things (drink). Will anyone see that? Is there anyone willing to work past my low heirarchy status in this social world?


Question question. Is my past restraining me? Do I have any ghosts I am not facing? Are there any more skeletons in my closet that I havent yet discovered? I have worked hard to uncover the repressions that I have been holding on to over the past two years (drink). Are there any more repressions hiding? Are these memories just waiting for something traumatic to trigger them to come out of hiding? How will I deal with it? Will it be as difficult as it was last year when I was bombarded with hidden secrets I had hidden from myself?


7- never have I ever. Never have I ever felt this confident. Never have I ever been this proud. Never have I ever been so surrounded by people I love. Never have I ever been so surrounded by people who love me. Never have I ever felt so secure in a relationship. Never have I ever had a goal that I so passionately needed to strive for.


Question Question. Did you take a drink? What are you lacking? What steps can you take to accomplish this? Lets take a step backwards one year (drink).


2011 D says "never have I ever felt this confident," 2010 drinks. 2011 says "Never have I ever been this proud," 2010 drinks. 2011 says "Never have I ever been so surrounded by people I love," 2010 drinks. 2011 says "Never have I ever been so surrounded by people who love me," 2010 drinks. 2011 says "Never have I ever felt so secure in a relationship," 2010 drinks. 2011 says "Never have I ever had a goal that I so passionately need to strive for," 2010 has just begun.


In December of 2009 when my father was treated like a criminal by to cockhead motherfuckers, put in cuffs and taken to the immigration office in Murray, UT my world crashed around me, and my journey began. I had just began schooling again. I had 11 credits, 16 more to go before graduation. My dad had just leased a building to open the restaurant he had been striving for his whole life. We had plans. We had goals. We had worked so hard. At the time I was an underage citizen of the US so he was alotted 6 months to kick rocks. The government told him to get the hell out. He got here with a Visa. Each and every year he pettitioned for residency, he payed taxes every year. Him and my mother both had never broken any laws, they donated to charities when possible, bought girlscout cookies, attended church, got each of our pets from an animal shelter, and kept their 3 children in line. I was 16 years old and my world came crashing around me. I got 16 credits in 5 months, while working full time at the restaurant my dad had just opened. Romalia Gourmet Meals to Go. We had to try and sell it, we failed. We lost everything. &Young miss D had to walk the graduation stage, graduation a year early- proud as hell after working so hard, so so hard - alone. I have about 40 relatives here in Utah who should have been there to support me. 40 relatives who knew that I was alone in the United States, knew that I just lost EVERYTHING that consisted of my life, &needed the support. 4 relatives made it to my graduation. 1 friend attended. Never had I ever been so alone.


That wasn't the hardest part though. The hardest part was knowing how my dad felt. My poppa, my hero, my safety, the man who was patient with me and taught me how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to swim, how to throw a football a baseball and a punch, taught me how to be patient, how to do a handstand, and how to love. My momma, the best mother on this planet who had nursed me and loved me, taught me how to talk, how to read, how to do math, how to stay strong, how to keep my learning disabilities under control, taught me how to be happy despite chronic depression, taught me to cook, to clean properly and effeciently, how put on a bra, and walked me through the differences in pads and what to do when cramps get too bad. My parents who got my kindergarten teacher to quit after calling me stupid. My mother was protective and defensive enough over me to break that ignorant racist woman down so drastically that she quit even before giving the school a chance to fire her. My mother made sure that woman would never be hired again as a kindergarten teacher. She was never able to damage another child, thanks to my parents. The government still ruined their lives. Everything they worked for, they hoped for, they prayed for, and sacrificed for.. was taken away.

My grandma had died a year prior to his departure, and my grandpa had died 3 years prior. He had suffered through their sicknesses without being able to nurse them and care for them because he couldnt leave the country or he wouldnt be able to return. &now he was being kicked out. He had suffered, both his parents had suffered, and now it was all in vein.

This began my journey. When I was busy working at Romalia Gourmet Meals to Go, striving towards graduating a year early, and struggling to balance the shattered pieces of my life while acomplishing my goals, I realized my passion. I realized I wanted to become an Anthropologist. I realized I wanted to start school immediately and be top of the class, slaughter the courses and cut through the semesters like a hot knife through butter. I was passionate, &I had to graduate early to get a head start. Be the youngest in my classes and stand out. Get important eyes on me and show that I am the one who will change this world.


Everything was on track...
I graduated a year early.


I got a scholarship for graduating a year early.


I got stuck in Venezuela for 6 months.


Financial aid screwed me over and I wasnt able to get my textbooks until two months into the semester. I had fallen behind and already lost one semseter and now I was losing another because I just couldnt catch up.


Plans changed.


I had to start working because my parents plans to start the farm had been put on pause due to obstacles after obstacles and their money had run out.


I was 17 years old, I was blazing with passion and urgent determination to get my life started and change the lives of people born into unfortunate circumstances.


I was helpless.


I am now working one full time job and one part time. Working every day. Paycheck to paycheck. Broke and alone. With extraoardinary goals, and a heart bigger than my soul could endure.


Question question.
What steps do I take from this position to accomplish my goals?


This is my journey.