Left Behind.

I'm sick of being left behind. 

That is the one constant in my life.

The only thing I can rely on.

&I hate it.  

Broken - *RcGraphics

Holidays have been completely vacant in my life for too many years now.  No excitement, no anticipation, nothing special.  I wish the people I loved were actually a part of my life.  Those that are within driving distance only appear for an occasional drop in to catch up.  I wish someone was present in my life.  Someone responded to me reaching out.  Someone appreciated the shoulder I lend or the smile I offer.  I am as alone as it gets.  The worst kind of alone.  For no reason that I can comprehend, because I am a loyal person with high respect to others and very dependable.  I wish someone would at least explain to me why they won't stay.  No one stays.  

"Like an old building
Rusting and frayed
On the outskirts of town
When new roads have been laid
I am forgotten 

Left behind, memories fade

The wind starts up

Grey clouds block out day

People keep walking

As the building decays"

-Diana Romay

I like to reassure myself saying that this is how life is supposed to be, people are supposed to leave me.  That way I can get used to it, that way I can travel without mourning the people I leave behind.  Because they leave me first.  I haven't gotten used to it yet. 

&It still hurts.