.low.low.low...

Hell-oh, my goodness.  

I didn't know I was here. 

Do you know my name? 

Can't go wrong when you try.

 Always got to try... no matter how long that shit takes.

Whatever stops you from dreaming, whatever tries to stop you from living...

flip it.

Welcome home.  

'Cause right now what I have to do is I gotta amp myself up as well as you.  

So what if it took me like two years and shit,

but I'm feeling prepared, &&I'm feeling a little more ready for the world.

&&Less lost, as I once was.  

I'm still on track.  I'm closer, I'm getting my license here soon &a car by august I hope bringing me closer to moving in with Tony and starting college again.  I've just been so down, though.  I can't seem to shake the same depression that has haunted me my whole life.  It comes in spurts and its holding on tight right now.  I can't breathe I can't think I can't bring myself to do anything.  My responsibilities are all I can manage to do, Jack is fed, combed &&his teeth are brushed.  My fish Zylvestur is fed with a clean tank.  I wake up for work every morning and accomplish my duties.

I can't breathe though.  

I hurt, I'm sad, I'm low on my luck.  Immobile.  

I'm fucking depressed.  Today I finally had the courage to let Tony know he needs to help me, that I'm depressed and I can't shake it.  I don't quite comprehend as to why men don't fucking get it when you say it in different words.  I have told him I need him, I have told him I miss him and I have shown him my emotions in the raw.  

Why in the hell was he surprised when I blatantly told him, "Tony, I'm depressed." 

What hurt is his only response was, "Why?"

Are you kidding!?  When we got together, from the very start I told you I have chronic depression and it comes in spurts.  Listen to me.  Come visit me.  Hold me, hug me, talk to me, ask me questions so I can vent without trying to fix them or cheer me up!  Support me.  I told him once more today that it comes in spurts.  He tried to fix it, "We just need to get you moved in."  Yes that is my goal yes it will help, but no that will not eliminate my emotions.

TrixyPixie - Depression

"A lot of people don't realize that depression is an illness.  I don't wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it." -Jonathan Davis.

moranox - Depression